The Complicated Life of Lazy Boys

28 07 2015

lazinessThis is an excellent article written by Paul Maxwell (Professor at Moody Bible Institute).

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The modern man has a major branding crisis. Most sum him up in one word: lazy. There are different ways to pronounce the word — dependent, wasteful, inept, ungrateful, complacent, unworthy, unimpressive, undisciplined — all with one root: the failure to do. Avoid work, and aim for the bare minimum.

Cycles of laziness eventually turn into cycles of violence. As our muscle for self-denial in work atrophies through inactivity, our ability to deny ourselves in relationships weakens as well. The seed of abusive inclinations is embedded in the selfishness of our laziness. A man who dishonors himself will eventually dishonor others (Proverbs 18:9).

Male laziness, though, is both misunderstood and underestimated by most. Until we understand laziness, we will never be able to work well. We have tried yelling at and mocking men, and that has not worked often or for long. Instead, let’s look at the complexity of laziness to see the deeper business underneath it and how the gospel heals and empowers lazy men.

There are (at least) five vicious cycles that perpetuate male inactivity. Each highlights a different logic behind our tendency toward laziness and complacency.

1. Inefficient Cycle

Insanity has been defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. When guys are inefficient in their planning, working, spending, and sin-fighting, their constant failure can breed the loud message: “You are not competent enough for life.”

At that point, why not give up and check out? Inefficient priorities and methods are working against men. When other men say, “Keep working,” we hear, “Keep trying the same things that haven’t worked,” and “Live a frustrated and unfulfilling life.” So we cease planning, put off work, and remove ourselves from risk. The demands of life increase. And in turn, we retreat even further. At the root of this cycle is insecurity, but the seed is a basic lack of life-skill competence.

The Inefficient Cycle: Incompetence → Effort → Failure → Frustration → Inactivity → Incompetence

2. Overwhelmed Cycle

A man may feel overwhelmed because it all feels like so much. The longer tasks go undone, the more this giant, amorphous mess of uncompleted tasks and unqualified accusation grows. Unfinished work screams, “You’re not a real man!” Undone work excuses unkind self-treatment and unworthy God-worship. It’s easier to avoid a problem than face it head on.

When a man is given too much work without sufficient resources and tools to accomplish the tasks, he’ll shut down. This cycle begins, not so much with inefficiency, but disorganization. The inefficiency cycle lacks tools. The overwhelmed cycle lacks a blueprint. Without the ability to parse and prioritize your workload, almost any task can overwhelm a man.

The Overwhelmed Cycle: Disorganization → Effort → Insufficient Results → Panic → Inactivity → Growing Workload → Disorganization

3. Addiction Cycle

Men are often caught up in an addiction cycle that simultaneously 1) takes up time and energy, and 2) steals the basic ability to perform tasks.

overeating, stealing physical energy

drinking, stealing money and focus

pornographic indulgence, stealing basic spiritual awareness

This cycle often leeches on other cycles — addictions are ways to cope with being stuck. Male avoidance is active, clawing, scraping, and screaming for relief from accusation, for salvation from incompetence, inefficiency, and responsibility. The addiction cycle is the hook that draws a man deep into the dark — men who are weighed down by their shortcomings easily “forsake the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness” (Proverbs 2:13).

The addiction cycle is the latch that often fastens men down in other destructive cycles of laziness. Addiction provides the illusion that divine joy is attainable without God — and with the illusive promise of life-giving rest through addictive indulgence, what need is there for the goodness of work, or (even more absurd) Sabbath rest?

The Addiction Cycle: Fatigue → Indulgence → Satisfaction → Negligence → Growing External Pressures → Craving → Fatigue

4. Unmotivated Cycle

Everyone around us screams, “Work!” So men just do, and quickly realize how purposeless work is as an end in its own. Why work? Peer pressure will last only so long. A failure to give a justified, or purposeful, or existentially compelling reason for work gives men an excuse to just stop working. The question isn’t, “Why are men so lazy?” but, “Why haven’t men found something worth working for?”

Without motivation — without purpose — what reason does a man have to do anything at all? The longer the unmotivated man remains sedentary, the more convinced he is that work simply isn’t worth it.

The Unmotivated Cycle: Lack of Motivation → Inactivity → Work Seems Harder → Work Seems Less Worth the Effort → Lack of Motivation

5. Hobby Cycle

Guys today have a quarter-life crisis and get into biking, shooting, fishing, gaming, or lifting. Guys do stuff now not to provide, but to convince the world (and maybe themselves) that they are just as worthwhile as their hard-working fathers. They are in a cycle of what David Powlison calls innocent pleasures. “The innocent pleasures work in exactly the opposite way as the addictive cycle. It takes less and less to push the lever of joy. Less stimulus is needed for greater joy.”

What do we need for real joy? Well, what is real joy (for the lazy hobby guy)? It is joy that gets us through life. Not the joy of living, but of surviving. What does that surviving-joy look like for the lazy man? Avoiding more and more work — escaping into a hobby. Hobbies can be good gifts from God, but men were made to work. Proficient entertainment cannot replace profession in the fight to live. “The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied” (Proverbs 13:4).

The Hobby Cycle: Hobby → Excuses Not to Work → More Time for Hobby → More Hobby → Less Interest in Work → More Hobby

A Hammer, Not a Gavel

This may feel like an atomic bomb of judgment to some. Seeing more of my own laziness has certainly felt that way to me. If we’re honest, though, the lazy man hates himself, and so we will work as hard to avoid condemnation as we do to avoid work. The truth about our laziness, however, is not a final gavel of guilt, but a tool — a hammer, even — for escaping the shackles of our life-stealing lethargy.

Before we can escape patterns of laziness, we need to understand patterns of laziness: We’re shackled by cycles of sin — retreat and repeat — and they’re not easy to escape. We need to know what we need — where and how God’s grace comes to the lazy man.

The wise king knows, “The wisdom of the prudent is to discern his way, but the folly of fools is deceiving” (Proverbs 14:8). What is the first thing a lazy man can do to find his way out of laziness? He can know with personal nuance and practical specificity the position that he is in “to discern his way.”

And the grace of God begins slowly, gradually, and inch by inch. Stay in the fight. There is hope for a way out of your cycle — out of the weight that keeps you in bed, in front of the TV, out of your workplace and church. Your story is far from over.



Finding Hope when We Look in the Rear View Mirror of our Lives (Pt. 7)

18 07 2015

rear-view-mirrorA young man was sitting on the very last row in his classroom sound asleep while the teacher taught. Unbeknownst to the sleeping student, the principal was in the hallway observing his nodding head and closed eyes. After a few moments, the principal barged into the classroom and asked the teacher, “Do you know Stephen is sleeping in the back of your class?” After the teacher acknowledged that he did, the principal said, “What are you going to do about it?” The teacher responded, “Nothing. He’s a lot better behaved when he’s sleeping.” Perhaps you could have related to Stephen while you were in school.  Chances are that when test time comes for Stephen, though, he won’t be behaving: he’ll be grouchy, irritable, stressed, and possibly short-tempered, because he slept through class.

The same is often true for some people: they “misbehave” outside class, because they have a habit of sleeping through class. They didn’t learn the important things that they needed to know in regards to how to behave and respond to the things happening around them.

I believe a lot of people respond poorly to their past, because they have been sleeping through theology class. Right theology is the key to responding right to the things that have happened to us in our past. When we read the word theology we often think of some stuffy academic content that has no relevance to our lives today. R.C. Sproul said the following about theology:

“No Christian can avoid theology. Every Christian is a theologian. Perhaps not a theologian in the technical or professional sense, but a theologian nonetheless. The issue for Christians is not whether we are going to be theologians but whether we are going to be good theologians or bad ones.”  

As I have worked with people over the years, I have seen direct improvements in their feelings of depression, guilt, discouragement, and fear as their knowledge of God (i.e. theology) has grown. These people were not just reading their Bible and attending church. They were reading their Bible and attending church with an alertness to find out more about God! They didn’t just learn about God, they started becoming doers of the Word and applying what they knew about God to their everyday lives.

I’m afraid too many people are sleeping through theology class and wondering why they think, behave, and react the way they do. Too much is at stake. By God’s grace, may we stay alert this week and learn more about our wonderful God.

I’m praying for our church to be students who are awake in theology class!



Finding Hope when We Look in the Rear View Mirror of our Lives (Pt. 6)

18 07 2015

rear-view-mirrorThere are a lot of reasons people refuse to consider their own personal wrong responses to the hurtful things that have happened in their past. Some people refuse to consider it because of fear. They believe someone may use their acknowledgement of sin against them. That kind of fear must be overcome by a simple choice to obey God’s Word rather than our own feelings or suspicions. Some people refuse to consider their wrong responses in the past because they are foolish. They personally believe they were justified in what they did therefore their choices were not wrong. Proverbs 12:15 puts this kind of thinking into the category of a fool when it states, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes.”

The longer we make excuses concerning our own wrong responses the longer we continue out of fellowship with God. When a person is willing to do a humble analysis of their responses and seek God’s forgiveness they are promised renewed fellowship with God.
The forgiveness of God is one of the most forgotten and misunderstood truths of the Bible. I would love to leave us today with a simple thought concerning I John 2:1-2 that gives us incentive to deal wisely with our wrong decisions of the past.

I John 2:1-2 says, “My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.”

This passage points out two crucial truths about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ: He is both our advocateand our propitiation. As our advocate, He defends us when the enemy of our souls accuses us before the throne of God day and night (Rev.12:10). And the basis of His defense is not our righteousness but His. He is our propitiation or satisfaction. When our adversary accuses us, and often rightly so, our heavenly lawyers points to the wounds in His hands and side. Then the holy Father raps the gavel and declares that our sin has been forgiven and the case is dismissed.

Don’t let any more time go by before you confess the wrong responses you have had to the hurts of your past. Forgiveness is too valuable and accessible to forsake it any longer.