All to Him I Owe

Each of us has distinguishing physical features, including scars that are simply part of who we are. Each of my scars represents a story, involving either my foolishness or something that happened to me outside my control.

Our past is like that! It is marked by scars that are the result of our foolishness and scars that represent events outside our control. I talked to a teen recently who told me he wished there was a way to completely erase his memory so he could start a day with a completely clean slate. Like that teen, many of us think we would be better off with no memory of the past. But is that true? What if our past is not entirely a bad thing? What if there were a way to look at our negative-seeming past in a positive way?

Our past is in essence a record of God’s past dealings with us. Last week I encouraged you to think correctly about God when you survey your past, and that means to focus on Who God is while you review what happened to you. Below are two suggestions to help you clarify your view of God.

1. As you read God’s Word, look for characters in Scripture who had circumstances similar to yours. Study their lives asking this question: “What did God do in their lives that He has also done in mine?” I believe you will find many parallels. Just as God spared them from things, He has spared you from things. Think about it right now. What has He spared you from? I believe you will also find that just as God gave special provision to them, God has also met your needs in special ways. Combat bad memories of the past with thanks for the things God provided in your past. You will also find that God often led people to particular destinations and for particular causes through the difficulties they encountered. Have you thought about the places God has led you and the things He has allowed you to do as a result of your past? This simple exercise has a way of driving us to the Word where we are reminded that God is constantly at work in our lives and does not take His hand off us during hardships.

2. Look for promises in Scripture. Do you realize that God’s promises are not prevented by the difficulties we encounter in life? He is a God of His Word. He always does what He said He would do. As you look for promises in Scripture, stop and ask yourself, “How have I seen these promises fulfilled in my past?”

People like you and me tend to drift between two extremes when considering our past. Some people believe the past is nothing, causing them to simply focus on today. Their mentality is, “I just need to do right today. I will be fine. The past happened, but it doesn’t affect today.” Other people believe the past is everything, causing them to believe that they are failing today because of the past. Their mentality is, “My emotional state is tied to my past. Your past needs to be changed in order for me to be of any true value today.”

Both of these extremes are problematic. If the past is nothing, then why did God give us an ability to remember? Students of Scripture cannot escape the many examples of men and women whose past was instrumental in making them the servants of God that they were.

The view that the past is everything is equally troubling. The Scripture never encourages us to see ourselves as helpless victims who are unable to change. To be told you are a helpless victim may provide temporary comfort but not lasting comfort.

So, what is the right perspective?I submit that our past is something, because it is an evidence of the goodness and grace of God.

When a person thinks theologically, he can find his past to be something that illustrates the great goodness and grace of God. The key is thinking correctly about God. Many of our pasts are filled with the following:

• Unanswered Questions
• Unaddressed Hurts
• Unsolved Problems
• Unwise Choices
• Unconfessed Sin
• Unlearned Lessons

All six of these contribute to our past being a heavy weight to us when we fail to process them through a right thinking about God. When some people look back over their past, they think it consists of nothing but the bad; but a careful review of the past with a Scriptural lens may reveal that God was doing a good and gracious work in your life.

The famed preacher C.H. Spurgeon struggled with bouts of depression and deep discouragement but found what he called a healing balm. Here is what he said, “Oh, there is, in contemplating on Christ, a balm for every wound; in musing on the Father, there is a quietus for every grief; and in the influence of the Holy Ghost, there is a balm for every sore. Would you lose your sorrow? Would you drown your cares? Then go, plunge yourself in the Godhead’s deepest sea; be lost in his immensity; and you shall come forth as from a couch of rest, refreshed and invigorated. I know nothing which can so comfort the soul; so calm the swelling billows of sorrow and grief; so speak peace to the winds of trial, as a devout musing upon the subject of the Godhead.”

To the person struggling with your past, think right about God and immerse yourself in the richness of His character. You will find that your past is a wonderful testimony to the goodness and grace of God. Our past weakens us and weighs us down when we fail to see it through a Scriptural view of God.

Hello, my name is Ron Perry, and I have a past. My past consists of both good things and bad things. The mysterious difficulty of my past (and your past) is that the good things seem easy to forget and the bad things seem to be unforgettable. The good things in our lives are all a gift of God (Ecclesiastes 3:13; James 1:17). God has graciously sprinkled our lives with wonderful things and experiences, but they seem to quickly hide behind the bad memories. The bad things in our past all fall into one of two categories.

1. Past sinful actions that I have done.
2. Painful circumstances caused by the hands of others.

These bad things are hard to forget! It seems to only take a song, smell, or statement; and a flood of those bad memories flow back into our minds.

That past, whether good or bad, affects our present day lives. One Christian author defines the past as “the accumulation of events, choices, responses, habits, attitudes, desires, feelings and beliefs that frame the patterns, interpretations, and routines of our lives today.”

Our past is powerful! People fill pastors’ offices and counseling couches trying to figure out how to handle their bad past. It is imperative that we learn how to respond right to our past, and the Bible teaches that it is possible to do this. I’m going to take the next few posts and use this  forum to help us respond right to our past. I’m calling this series “Finding Hope when We Look in the Rearview Mirror of our Lives.”

I’m looking forward to presenting some helpful truths to each of you. Your past–the sin and the suffering–does not have to be an unbearable burden that is always weighing you down! God provides perspective and power to move beyond that!

Making disciples is not a complicated process, but it is a lot of work that requires lots of sacrifice. Have you noticed that people do not coordinate their struggles with your schedule? In the process of your effort to make disciples, you will find that your friends will need help at inconvenient times in ways that will be uncomfortable for you. You will spend great amounts of time, personal assets, and energy as you come alongside them to help them walk with the Lord. At times, it will be discouraging and disappointing. Sometimes the people you help most will hurt you the most with their responses to your care. You may lose friends along the way, have your motives questioned, and have lies told about you. You may be taken advantage of and treated with great disdain. So why in the world would anyone want to do the work of discipleship?

First, we should be disciple makers, because Jesus commanded us to be one. The Great Commission is not just a command to give the gospel. It is also a command to make disciples! Disciple making is not something I may do if I want to and have time. It is something I must do because God told me to. Our church will be a healthy church when we see discipleship as something we must do and not something we might do if it is convenient.

Second, we should be disciple makers, because it is one of the supreme ways we tell God that we love Him. Remember when Christ asked Peter if he loved Him? Each time that Peter answered, “Yes,” the Lord replied, “Feed my sheep.” Christ was telling Peter – and each of us who love the Lord – that we will best demonstrate love by loving who Christ loves, His sheep.

Third, we should be disciple makers, because the more we help others grow spiritually, the more we will grow. While our motive to disciple others should never be self-serving, we will find that we will be served if we help others. God will often use the struggles of others to act as a mirror for our own lives. We will see our own needs through the needs of others. As we give Scripture to help others, we will find that the same verse we are giving is the same verse we need, as well.

I have found that a lot of churches are filled with Christian spectators, rather than disciple makers. Each of us should evaluate our own life and ask the question, “Am I watching others do the work or am I personally doing the work?”

Because we are a church that is growing both spiritually and numerically, we need your help in discipling this ever-growing congregation. Look at the friends God has given you here at FBC and begin doing the work of discipleship in a way that shows your love and obedience to God.

Discipleship is hard but certainly worth doing!

This may surprise you, but God never said that He would bless your “humble opinion.” He did say, though, that He will bless His Word!

Do you have friends who are struggling? Are they working through difficult circumstances or hard questions? If so, then lay down your opinions and pick up Bible answers. Allow Scripture to fulfill its God-given purpose of furnishing believers with everything that we need (II Timothy 3:17). Take Scriptural principles and season your conversations with them. The issues your friends deal with in their walk with God are not mere scratches and bruises that are healed by your opinions. They are often deep-rooted heart issues and cancerous struggles of the flesh, which can only be solved with Scripture.

A lot of people shy away from disciple making because they don’t think they know enough Bible to help someone. Don’t let that happen to you. Your friends don’t need you to be the Bible college professor who takes Greek and Hebrew to carefully craft a presentation to answer their questions. What they need is someone who is humbly studying the Bible, applying it to his own life, and willing to share how he found the Word of God to help him.

Good disciples makers are humble students of God’s Word. They may not have shelves filled with commentaries or expensive Bible programs, but they do have a well-worn Bible on which they have spent much time meditating. Some of the best disciple makers I know use this common phrase when they don’t know the answer to a question: “I don’t know the answer, but I know where I can find the answer.” Their humble response teaches others that the answer is not found in man but in God’s Word.

In addition to being a humble student, good disciple makers are also obedient followers of God’s Word. They are consistently putting the Bible into action in their lives. They read the Bible with the purpose of obeying it, not just understanding it. Their lives become the flesh and blood example of what they are encouraging others to do with God’s Word.

Humble, obedient students of God’s Word make great disciple makers. Are you a humble, obedient student of God’s Word?

Mark 3:14 says of Jesus that He “ordained twelve, that they should be with him, and that he might send them forth to preach.” Our Lord used the classroom of everyday life to disciple people. Notice that the classroom He chose was not filled with chairs, desk, and a lectern. It probably would not have even included coffee at Starbucks, had He had access to one! He discipled others in the classroom of everyday life as they spent time with him.

You and I cannot program or structure really good discipleship, because it just happens in the routine of everyday life between people who are striving to pull one another along in their walk with the Lord! When discipleship is done well, it looks a lot like a good godly friendship. The relationship between friendship and discipleship is a two-edged sword. If you are struggling to have close friends, you will struggle to be a disciple maker. On the other hand, if you are able to build good friendships, then you will easily learn how to become a disciple maker.

At times, I have had people ask me to assign them someone to disciple, someone they can instruct and someone into whose life they can speak. But discipleship cannot be assigned. When we assign someone to another, it will inevitably look more like a classroom than a place of discipleship.

Good disciple makers don’t sit around waiting for someone to be assigned to them. They look at the friends God has already given them and begin discipling those friends using the tools we have talked about the last few weeks. Their goal is not to make their friends like themselves. Their goal is to walk with their friends in a way that leads both parties closer to Christlikeness.

Let’s work at having good godly friendships, because the more we work at that, the more we will find ourselves discipling others for the glory of God.

Let’s say that you are valuing small talk and practicing the fine art of auscultation (ie. listening). Through the means of these two tools God suddenly presents you with a real, meaningful, spiritual conversation with someone. This conversation reveals real spiritual needs and struggles in the life of another. You want to help! How do you lead that conversation at this new level?

Good disciple makers lead the conversation from a position of transparent humility, rather than expert authority. Let me illustrate.

I reached out to a friend one time about a struggle I was having in my walk with the Lord. This friend responded with a confident statement that he didn’t struggle like that but knew what I should do. He then proceeded to give Bible answers, but they felt as though they had been learned from the Bible college classroom, rather than from his own experience. I was experiencing a friend trying to help me from the position of expert authority.

Another time I reached out to a friend and asked for help with a struggle I was facing. This particular friend responded with a very humble testimony that he struggled in a similar way and was finding a set of Biblical truths to be of great help to him. He then proceeded to share what he was currently learning and how he thought that might help me. He was discipling me from the position of transparent humility. His position of transparent humility made his counsel easier to understand and apply.

Some people think that the key to being a disciple maker is having superior knowledge on a topic and perfect performance, but this is far from true. One of the greatest keys to being a disciple maker is having the transparency and humility to come alongside someone and grow with him in the same area.

Have you ever thought that some of your greatest assets in disciple making are the following?

1. Your own personal testimony of struggles

2. Lessons God taught you through those struggles

3. Lessons God is currently teaching you through those struggles.

Disciple making is not trying to bring someone to where I am but stepping alongside someone and growing with him to the place we both need to be. Use the position of transparent humility in your relationships with others. By God’s grace, may we grow together with others to the place God would have us all to be.

Many people think that a good disciple maker has to be a person who is good at talking. But most good disciple makers are good at making disciples, because they are good at listening with an ear that enables them to discern a person’s heart. They don’t just listen to the words that are used. They listen with eyes that observe the non-verbal clues as well. They take what they hear and what they observe and discern the heart.

Those who teach martial arts often teach a skill called “the ability of soft eyes.” Having soft eyes means cultivating the ability to take in the whole situation without focusing on one object. They call it 360-degree awareness. The skill of soft eyes is crucial to our ability to be a disciple maker because it enables us to take in the whole of a person and respond in a right manner with the right answers.

Last week I encouraged you to not de-value “small talk.” We must value small talk, because small talk paves the way for deep spiritual conversations. In addition to small talk, let me add a new item to our disciple-making tool belt, the tool of listening. Try not to be the one who monopolizes conversations. Ask questions and listen! Some people listen until there is a pause so they can then talk. A real disciple maker listens with the intention of understanding so he can help.

May God continue to strengthen our relationships here at FBC as we value small talk and practice auscultation.

There is something exciting and enjoyable about a really good spiritual conversation. Most of us really do love talking with someone about things that have an eternal substance. Many of our church members regularly walk into our auditorium with a genuine desire to encourage and edify others and talk about deep, spiritual things. Often, though, within a few minutes, those same people interact with other members who just start talking “small talk” about the weather, work, sports teams, and hobbies. That conversation of small talk can feel like a big waste of time to the people who were really aiming for a spiritual conversation, unless they understand that small talk really can be a bridge to conversations about spiritual things.  I would like to give you three values for small talk.

1. Small talk demonstrates interest in the other person. Most people like talking about work, sports teams, and hobbies because those are major components of their lives: they’re important to them. People spend time and money on these things and think about them on a regular basis. When we skip over these things in conversation or act like talking about them is a waste of time, we subtly give the impression that we don’t care about that which makes up a significant part of a person’s life. My listening ear and engaging conversation about the small things in a person’s life shows that I care about the whole person.

2. Small talk builds bridges of trust. Spiritual conversations have the potential of exposing the inner heart of a person and making him or her feel very vulnerable. People naturally use conversations about weather, work, sports teams, and hobbies to build a hedge of protection to avoid that vulnerability. When we talk to people about those small things, we help them feel at ease and slowly build a trust that enables them to put down the hedge of protection. Some people require five minutes of small talk to build trust while the next person may require weeks of small talk before they give away trust to another. It is imperative that we be gentle, kind, and patient as we wait for people to let down their guards and trust us with their spiritual lives.

3. Small talk is the first step to deeper conversations. Small talk is not the end goal! Engaging in small talk is the process by which we get to deeper conversations about spiritual things. Small talk builds a rapport and trust with a person that allows us to engage their heart. Lighthearted conversations about small talk are great windows into the life of a person. Don’t just listen to their words. Listen to everything that is communicated outside those words. A good listening ear will pick up on the moods, struggles, stress points, and difficulties that a person has in his or her life. Our knowledge of those things becomes invaluable to taking the conversation deeper when the person is ready. Small talk does mean that conversations start small. But small conversations have the ability to grow into the bigger conversations that deal with bigger things.

Don’t despise small talk! It is an important part of building relationships with people, relationships that have spiritual substance.

I had the privilege of playing little league baseball for much of my youth. Though I had the opportunity to pitch for a few seasons, my primary position was always catcher. During one of the playoffs, a hitter stepped away from a wild pitch and erratically swung his bat, hitting me in the head. Although I had a helmet on, my head got rattled; and I began to experience dizziness. Coach pulled me from the game, and I got sidelined for one our biggest games of the season. I hated being sidelined! I wanted to be in the game. I didn’t want to just watch the team work; I wanted to be doing the work.

Similarly, there are times in our ministries where we feel like we got sidelined. Physical maladies, trials outside our control, and sinful struggles that leave us feeling inadequate are all things that can seem to pull us from the front lines of ministry. When those things have hit my life, I have often asked the Lord, “Why? What are you doing? Why have you sidelined me?

Have you ever wrestled with those same questions?

It is hard when you move from being very busy and active in ministry life to suddenly sitting on the sidelines out of play and wondering what our role is to now be. It is easy to be tempted on the sideline and to withdraw into a self-focused emotional cocoon and lose heart. We begin to think, “After all, what good am I anyway?”

I would like to share four simple thoughts with you for the times when we feel sidelined in the work of God.

1. Focus on what God is doing, rather than what you are not doing. I love Exodus 14:13 when God tells the Israelites to “stand still” at the water’s edge, while the Egyptians were bearing down upon them. The human instinct would have been to turn around and fight or jump in the water and swim! But God told them to stand and see. We miss seeing the mighty hand of God at work when we are focused on what we can’t do, rather than on what God is doing. The Israelites got to observe one of the greatest miracles in the Bible by standing still and watching. The sea split, the ground was made dry, and Egyptians died without the Israelites ever lifting a sword! Don’t miss out on seeing the work God wants to do when you are sidelined.

2. Do the little that you can with the little that you have. The last few years have brought a new malady to my life that happens every fall. I get a kidney stone! My kidney stones have resulted in long days in bed, sleepless nights, even a few hospital stays. I am sidelined! I can’t read my Bible, preach, teach, check email, or meet with people. I’m out of commission. I’m slowly learning that though I’m limited, there are little things God still allows me to do. Sleepless nights have found moments of special prayer for others suffering in our church. I have also found that rather than going on visitation, I’m the object of others’ visitation. When I’m visited, I have an opportunity to minister from my bed to those God sends. When you find yourself on the side line, do the little you can with the little that you have.

3. Don’t miss the lessons that are taught in the classroom of inactivity. Just because you are sidelined from the front lines of ministry doesn’t mean God is going to stop ministering to you. Seasons of inactivity are creatively designed by God to teach you some things that you could perhaps only learn in a state of stillness. Don’t be so frustrated with being out of the game that you fail to learn. Don’t miss the fact that God is doing something in you, though it may not feel like He is working through you.

4. Remember God works in our weakness. This is my final and most important point! II Corinthians 12:9 promises that the greater our weakness, the greater God works! The greater God works, the greater glory He receives. I often feel that my work for God has become pathetic when He sidelines me. But isn’t it true that my works for God are always pathetic? Any good that has ever come from these hands of ministry were because God did it! In God’s economy, He chooses to use clay pots and earthen vessels to do His work so that He will get full glory. The work of God doesn’t cease when we are sidelined! In fact, His work increases.

This is and always will be God’s work. It is a privilege to be part of God’s work, whether you are in the field or on the sideline. Don’t let a season on the sideline discourage you.